


got a shotgun tongue

by crookedspoon



Series: JayDami Week 2019 [1]
Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reverse Robin, Attempted Seduction, Bad Things Happen Bingo, Batkids Age Reversal, Creepy Jason Todd, Implied Childhood Sexual Abuse, M/M, POV Jason Todd
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-21
Updated: 2019-09-21
Packaged: 2020-10-25 15:41:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20726648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crookedspoon/pseuds/crookedspoon
Summary: Bruce's death rocks their world. Suddenly Jason is no longer Robin, but the new kid is, while Damian takes over the duties of Batman. Jason wants back on the team, and he also wants to help Damian in his grief.





	got a shotgun tongue

**Author's Note:**

  * For [inihiu](https://archiveofourown.org/users/inihiu/gifts).

> Written for Day 1 "Reverse Robin" at jaydamiweek and "If I Can't Have You" from my badthingshappenbingo card.

It was Bruce who picked up the new kid. It was always Bruce who picked up the strays, who clothed and fed them, and gave them a new home, a new purpose.

It's what he had done for Jason. He'd taken him off the streets and given him a new life, one that did not involve smiling fake smiles to please real creeps and allowed him to punish them instead. 

For a while, Jason was his prized project. He would train Jason, turn his anger into a useful weapon, and call him his partner. It was enough for Jason. (It was everything to him.)

There were other Bats in Gotham – and elsewhere – but Bruce did not talk about them. Jason just knew they existed, from his own experience of seeing Batman with a Robin, from hearing people talk about their own encounters with them, from the evidence he found in the Cave and in the manor. There were old uniforms in glass cases and photographs of Bruce with other children on display. Jason even found some of Bruce with his estranged wife and their son hidden away in storage boxes.

Sometimes, those Bats would contact Bruce through the comm lines or they would report through video feeds to the Batcomputer. Going by the professionally curt way Bruce treated them, they felt like no big deal to Jason, like lackeys, and Jason felt secure in his position as Bruce's partner.

It never occurred to him that he could be replaced. Like they had been.

* * *

Jason hated the new kid. It took up all of Bruce's time and attention. Nothing Jason did could shake Bruce out of his quiet hovering around the kid. He tried to appear like that was not what he was doing, but Jason had eyes, and he knew how Bruce worked by then. And he'd definitely been in Protective Parent mode, giving the kid the space it might need while being close by to assure the kid it was not alone.

The kid wanted none of that. It was pouting and angry all the time. Jason didn't understand why it was so upset. So its parents were killed. Good riddance. Jason watched his parents get shot in front of him and he breathed a sigh of relief. They would never hurt him again.

(To this day, Jason feels a sense of triumph when blood and brain matter sprays across his face.)

Apparently Bruce thought they'd be great I-lost-my-parents buddies in a way he never could be with Jason, even though he may have wished it. Yet Jason has not mourned his parents for even a single second of his life. He could not relate to Bruce in that manner and he suspected that Bruce was seeking to fill that particular void with the new kid.

Except that he never got the chance to build up a connection with it, because there was a crisis and he died soon after. Leaving Jason alone with the new kid and Alfred.

* * *

They did not stay alone for long. Bruce's son took over his duties as naturally as if nothing had happened. As if their world hadn't just been rocked. 

He appeared out of nowhere one day, tall and broad-shouldered and looking so much like Bruce that Jason thought for a second that the man himself was back. Jason's hopes were dashed when Alfred greeted the newcomer as "Master Damian." Jason eyed him. He didn't look at all like the pipsqueak in the family photos. (It would give Jason hope for his own height later, although he didn't think of it at that moment.)

Damian picked up Batman's mantle as though he had been preparing for for years – which he no doubt had been – and went on patrol with Jason as his new Robin.

Nobody even noticed the difference.

Nobody but Jason, that is. And perhaps Alfred and the new kid, too, but Jason didn't ask. He didn't know what to do with that change. With that grief. It was the first time he really felt it and it was overwhelming.

Bruce had been good to him.

His only demands were that Jason work hard and not kill. Pretty easy, right? Right. Except that Jason carried a rage within him that made it difficult not to want to cross that line. He learned to control it for Bruce, because he owed him.

Not killing was the cardinal rule. Everything else was negotiable. It was that simple.

Despite playing along, it took some time for Jason to wrap his mind around Bruce's respect for life, even that of vermin Jason would have crushed underfoot. Bruce knew what kind of lowlifes were out there – what kind he'd saved Jason from by taking him in. 

He's still not sure he gets it. By letting the perps they caught live, they gave them a chance to hurt others again later. On the flipside, it also meant Jason could hurt them again later, as well. Death is too kind, sometimes. Some people deserve to suffer.

Without Bruce as his guide, Jason didn't know how to control his rage. Nothing was as black and white as Bruce had made it out to be any longer. Damian was brutally efficient, but he seemed even more averse to killing than his father had been, and less willing to work with Jason to help him curb his violent urges.

The first time Jason used excessive force on a perp, Damian benched him in favor of the new kid.

"I know you're good on your own," he said, as if he were somehow rewarding Jason with the demotion. "Maybe we can set you up with Drake. Dick needs the training more than you do, at this time."

Except that Drake never answered the call and that Damian severely miscalculated just how _much _Jason needed to be out there.

* * *

Jason's feet are silent as he slinks into the Batcave. Damian is engrossed in whatever's in front of his microscope, but Jason's sure he heard him anyway. To his highly trained senses, Jason's clumsy attempt at sneaking close must have sounded like a herd of elephants or something.

"Won't you reconsider?" Jason asks, because there's no point in tiptoeing around if Damian knows he's there. 

As expected, Damian says nothing. He hasn't spoken a word since the funeral, or none that Jason had witnessed anyway. He probably still talks to Dick, because why wouldn't he? Damian probably thinks of him as still salvageable.

Unlike Jason, who is tainted by his anger.

It's not like Dick has no issues with anger, but _he's _still allowed to prove himself, so why is Jason not given the same opportunity? Dick hasn't even worn the Robin colors for long. There's no way he can support Damian in the field like Jason could. (He wishes Bruce were still here. Bruce knew what Jason is capable of.)

Jason resents Dick for taking his spot. The kid may only have been Robin for a bit, but he took to it like a fish to water, or, in his case, like a bird to the sky. He loved soaring through it because it "reminded him of his parents." Jason got sick of hearing it.

Damian adjusts the lenses on his microscope, pretending to actually study. It's a nice try, but he can't fool Jason. That tension in Damian's hunched shoulders tells Jason he's on high alert.

Jason's not sure whether Damian is attempting to convey a 'Go away, I'm busy' mood or one that says 'I'm not talking to you, so don't even try.' Jason is going to ignore it either way.

He slips between Damian and the microscope, and climbs into Damian's lap. He feels a smug sort of satisfaction when Damian's breath hitches the moment Jason winds his arms around him and rests his head against his chest. His heart beat is strong and slightly elevated, thudding against Jason's cheek through layers of skin and fabric. Jason caresses Damian very gently, brushing his hands over his shoulder blades and over his sides, trying to get him to relax. Damian won't agree to let him back on patrol again if he expects Jason to spear him with a dagger or something.

"Do you miss him?" Jason asks, since Damian is not going to lead with anything.

There's no verbal reply, but Damian's shoulders sag. A sign that Jason's soothing must be working.

"Bruce, I mean," he elaborates when Damian's silence remains unbroken. He tries to piece together what Bruce had told Dick when he was trying to get through to him. "I think it's normal to miss your dad more than you'd expect, or even to feel nothing at all right now. Grief affects people differently."

A warm hand alights on Jason's upper back, heavy enough to feel like a one-sided hug. It's enough acknowledgement for now. Maybe Damian is in too much pain to speak. Bruce mentioned that grief could manifest as pain.

Is that what he's feeling? A heaviness that's like a knife wound, but he's not bleeding externally? Jason's never considered before that he might be grieving, too.

Whenever someone died before, Bruce would let Jason stay in his arms like this. Maybe he thought he was doing Jason a favor, but Jason knew it drained some of the ache from Bruce just to be held.

The first time Jason curled up against Bruce like this, he'd been too restless to sit still for long. He thought he needed to do something to make Bruce feel better. So he'd kissed him. He pressed his lips to the edge of Bruce's mouth at first, then became more direct. Bruce seemed tired when he stopped Jason from sliding his tongue against his lips.

"You don't have to do that, Jason," he said in a calm voice. Jason still remembers that deep rumble very vividly. Bruce wasn't angry or upset with Jason. Nor was he disgusted. Just tired.

"But I want to," Jason insisted. He was confused, not understanding why Bruce didn't want him.

Bruce folded him into his arms then, and stroked his back. "I know what you are trying to do, and I appreciate you wanting to cheer me up, but it would make me happier if you didn't do this, ever again. Do you understand?"

Jason swallowed thickly. "Does that mean there's nothing I can do to make you feel better?"

"You're making me feel better simply by being alive. I don't need any more from you."

That answer made no sense to Jason, but he sucked it up. After all, it was Bruce who asked him to just sit still, ignore his instincts, and do nothing. Jason would have killed for Bruce and broken the cardinal rule. For him, Jason could ignore the weird tension tingling through his body and the worry spiraling through his mind until he became so exhausted from it that he fell asleep.

But Damian is not Bruce and there are no rules between them. Jason is anxious again to help.

He places a hand against Damian's neck and brushes his lips along his jawline as he looks up. Then he kisses Damian.

Damian nearly _leaps _out of the chair in his surprise.

"What are you doing?" he asks, holding Jason by his shoulders.

"Helping you forget the pain," Jason says and snakes his hand between them. A frown forms on his brow when he doesn't find Damian the least bit hard.

Damian _does _leap out of the chair now, sending Jason crashing to the floor. Shock mars his features and it's the first time Jason has seen him lose his prized composure.

"Stay away from me," Damian orders and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. Then he storms off, up the stairs and back into the manor proper. Away from Jason.

Humiliation burns hot through Jason. He's only wanted to help ease the pain. He's good at this. Why wouldn't Damian want to try, if it meant forgetting about his burdens for a while?

Picking himself up, Jason wonders if Damian would have reacted the same way if Dick had been the one trying to help. He seems to have a soft spot for the kid. Jason kicks over the chair. The crash is only marginally satisfying. 

So much for getting back on the roster. He's gonna be lucky if Damian doesn't send him off to boarding school. He's not gonna let that happen. He can still make himself useful even if he's not allowed to be Robin or to help Damian feel better.

Fuck that, Damian doesn't _deserve _him. He's a shitty Batman who wears his righteousness like an armor, as if that would make him invulnerable or in any way as good as Bruce. Jason can't believe he ever wanted to grovel before him to be taken back on.

He's gonna pay Damian back for this slight, that much is certain. He already has an idea on how to hurt him best without hurting him directly.

And Jason is going to have a lot of fun with it, too.

**Author's Note:**

> Title from "Brand New Numb" by Motionless in White.
> 
> Thus begins creepy Jay-verse :') Please please please do not continue reading the series if extremely underage scenarios make you uncomfortable (nothing to do with Damian, spoiler, he is too pure for that lol), because it's not gonna be cozy.


End file.
